My hair is full of mealy worms, I don't know what to do,

they seem to be immune to Clairol's anti-worm shampoo,

my girlfriend won't come near me just in case she gets them too,

our friendship's on a rocky trip downhill.

I scratched my head so badly it began to get quite sore,

the Doctor said he'd never seen the likes of it before,

he said they'd go away, and I was bustled out the door,

I didn't even get a worming pill.

I saw another doctor, he was better than the first,

but then he told his cure, and it was certainly the worst,

he'd squeeze my head into a vice, until the worms all burst,

I told him it was bloody overkill!

A friend suggested cutting all my hair off from my head,

I tried it and was left with all these slimy worms instead,

they looked like they were happy and they seemed to be well-fed,

to think of what they ate gave me a chill.

A laser doctor tried his ray, and gave my head a fry,

but all it did was influence the worms to multiply,

he told me to return next day, to have another try,

I walked out and refused to pay the bill.

I’ll buy a hundred finches, in a bid to ease my plight,

I’ll sit down in an easy chair, and hold my eyes shut tight,

a half an hour later there’ll not be a worm in sight,

my feathered friends will feast and have their fill!

 more of my SILLY POEMS here