There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children she didn't know what to do!
So she gave them some broth without any bread,
And she whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed!

She smiled at me, a look so wet and saucy,

I knew that this was going to be good,

a night of love with Donna the divorcee,

the hottest woman in the neighborhood.

The house was like a shoe, with tongue and laces,

she couldn't do a thing about the din,

so many tiny, hungry little faces,

all shouting out and trying to butt in.

She went inside, and came back with two beer jugs,

we sat upon the porch to share a drink,

I started wishing I had brought some ear plugs,

the noise was so, I couldn't even think!

She gave the kids some broth, and then a caning,

they went to bed, the two of us remaining...