He offered her a drink, she slowly nodded her okay,

Armani suit with Rolex, leather shoes,

he looked her kind of man - well-heeled and rich enough to pay,

she couldn't wait to get him full of booze.

She sipped her creamy cocktail as he spoke about his life,

apparently he lived up in the hills,

a seven-bedroom mansion on his own - no kids or wife,

a chain of supermarkets paid the bills.

A lovely dinner followed, she had lobster fresh from France,

he chose a Cabernet with practised eye,

two brandies with the coffee, he invited her to dance,

they twirled around the floor as time flew by.

She pushed her body into his, to get him in the mood,

he danced so well, her feet felt feather-light,

she kissed him softly on the cheek and thanked him for the food,

he asked if he could take her home tonight.

His car, an Aston-Martin, sped them down the moonlit road,

she felt so good, this guy was such a prize,

they turned into his driveway and the great big mansion glowed

all creamy white, she gasped to see its size.

He kissed her on the doorstep, and she felt his manly need,

the time was right - she quickly drew away,

"I see you have a hunger that you'd like for me to feed -

no problem, love, providing that you pay!"

He stared at her in silence, and she said: "Oh come on, ducks,

I'm different to those other working birds,

I'll do one single thing you ask, you pay three hundred bucks,

providing you can say it in three words!"

"So - anything at all?" he asked, "in three words nothing more?"

"That's right," she said, "I promise to comply,

as long as it's just three, it mustn't run on into four,

one extra word and I will wave goodbye."

"You have a deal," he said and paid three hundred with a grin,

she loosed the first two buttons on her blouse,

"So say your words, you handsome stud, I can't wait to begin,"

He smiled and simply told her: "Paint my House!"

 more of my FUNNY POEMS here