When you get to Hell tell the Devil I said hello,

‘cause I ain’t quite ready yet to head below,

there’s a lot more sinning I have yet to do,

like firing this here pistol aimed at you.

If you see St. Peter sitting at Heaven’s gate,

tell him not to wait for me, ‘cause I’ll be late,

even though I’d love to smile and shake his hand,

well I just don’t think I’ll reach the Promised Land.

When the preacher looked me in the eye and said:

“Better get down on your knees, you’ll soon be dead,”

well I figured it don’t matter how you pray,

just as long as you turn up come Judgment Day.

When the roll is called up yonder, count me out,

I’ll be still here drinking whisky, full of doubt,

if today’s my last I’ll live it like the rest,

and I won’t get on my knees to pass the test.

You can tell God Hi from me, for Heaven’s sakes,

tell him I’m still down here fixing his mistakes,

and I won’t be finished for eternity,

so he may as well not save that space for me.

more of my RELIGIOUS POEMS here