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I built a
time machine, from parts of clocks, computer discs,
a microwave
and bits of mp3,
I held on
tight and turned it on, despite the frightful risks,
and headed
back to 1963.
I made it
there okay, and hid the time machine away,
I doubt the
people there could understand,
that someone
traveled back in time to hear a pop group play,
but this was
not some ordinary band.
I bought my
concert ticket and I queued up for the show,
I had to pay
with cash, and that was hard,
quite
luckily, I'd thought to bring along a bit of dough,
they'd never
even heard of Mastercard!
The crowd
was restless as we waited for, what seemed, an age,
my seat was
great - the center, second row,
I felt
fulfilled, my lifelong wish: to see them live on stage,
and here I
was - The Beatles first rock show!
The
spotlights flared, they ran on to the stage, I waved at Paul,
I tell no
lie - I'm sure he waved at me,
John said
hello, and welcomed us to scream and have a ball,
then
launched into "I Wanna Hand Your Knee."
Your what?
My God, what's happened? Then they sang "Red Submarine"
when
"Black's in Baby" then their "Honey Don't"
was "Honey
Do" I knew it was that blasted time machine,
I'd put the
mp3 in back to front!
They rocked
to "Sergeant Salt" and then they sang "Holing a Fix"
then "Whitebird,"
"If I Stood" and "Love Your Hide,"
"To Ride a
Ticket" followed up with "When I'm Forty-Six"
I sat there
going crazy and cross-eyed.
"She Hates
You" came on next, was followed up with "Why Ask Me"
"Before the
Night" and "See me What You Tell,"
the "Better
Should Have Known" was sung in perfect harmony,
a
mop-topped-pop-band-rock dyslexic hell.
Then "I've
Faced Just a Scene" was medleyed with "It's Only Hurt"
then "Never
Saw Her Standing," "Shout and Twist,"
when "Do Me
Love" came on, backed up with "Lucy in the Dirt"
and "Me Me
Please" I started getting pissed.
I leaped up
on the stage right in the middle of the song,
I glared at
Ringo, urging him to stop,
I shouted at
the audience: "The lyrics are all wrong!"
and George
said: "Come on, mate, it's all Rock Pop."
More of my
FUNNY POEMS
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