I bowed and strummed a power chord, the bottom E broke first,

there was no roadie waiting in the wings,

so, playing on, I tempted fickle fate to do its worst,

I hadn’t thought to bring some back-up strings!

Then, halfway through the bloody song, things got beyond a joke,

I had no spares, and couldn’t jury-rig,

but no-one seemed not to notice when the stinking G string broke,

I had to soldier on, my first big gig!

The A string parted with a twang, and I was getting vexed,

I couldn’t stop the show, and played with three,

I turned my amp to chorus, wondered what would happen next,

then got the answer when I broke the B.

With two strings I was struggling, this wasn’t any fun,

a rock star shouldn’t have to take this crap,

The top E string then broke in two and I was left with one,

I played a note and heard the D string snap.

I sang it á Capella, and I mimed the guitar chords,

but then the audience began to moan,

as one by one they left their seats and headed for the doors,

I stood there, stringless, silent, and alone.

I gave up playing guitar, did the right thing, I presume,

the memories were vivid, and too sad,

to fall flat on my face, at home, there in the living room

and flop in front of my own Mum and Dad!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here