I had a spot of trouble while in Kelly’s Irish Bar,

you may think that my tale is rather queer,

a leprechaun jumped on the counter, I thought: How bizarre...

but then the bugger sneezed into my beer!

I handed him a tissue, but he didn’t wipe his nose,

I sipped my drink and asked him to refrain,

he dropped a shamrock on the bar, for good luck, I suppose,

then sneezed into my Guinness once again!

I growled and bade him go away, but he stayed where he was,

he danced a jig and sang a little rhyme,

I took a drink and started thinking he was deaf because

he sneezed into my pint glass one more time!

I drank some beer and told him in a voice I hoped was stern:

“If you don’t stop, I’ll cut your penis off!”

“I haven’t got one,” he replied, while showing unconcern,

then sneezed into my beer and gave a cough!

I sipped my drink, and told him: “Hey, I wasn’t born last week.”

“It’s true,” he answered sagely, with a wink,

“Well, Smarty-pants,” I answered, “show me how you take a leak,”

He said “Like this,” and sneezed into my drink!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here