"These aspirin make me dizzy" said the soldier to the fly,

"I try to dance but end up on the floor."

"No wonder," said the acrobat, "your pants are way too high,

that kind of thing went out in ninety-four."

"Be ready," said the barman, "as the town hall clock strikes nine,

the pyrotechnics show will take your breath."

A suicidal caterpillar said: "That suits me fine,

I'll ride the final rocket to my death!"

"I need a glass of water" said a Libran from the back,

"I'll sell you twenty gallons" said the Jew,

a skeleton from Omaha was reeling in the slack

and wanted an address to mail it to.

"Caramba!" said the Cuban, "this is turning into war"

a peaceful dove flew down and kissed his lips,

then Creeping Jesus chuckled as he threw up on the floor,

he never should have tried the Chinese chips.

The DJ screamed a warning but it fell on punch-drunk ears,

the roof caved in and buried all the friends,

"Encore" implored the audience, through crocodilic tears,

they'd seen it all before - knew how it ends.