People! We are Pleased and Proud to Peruse your Presence at our Premier Presentation of a P Party.

 As we Proceed to Perform our Pieces, Please Pick your Partners and Promenade on the Pine, Picking up P Prizes for Perpendicular Pirouettes and Precisely Placed Perfection.

 Ponder not on the Perils of the Poor Population, Panting for Panadol and Pills as the Ply their emPloyment and Pick up their Piddling Pay, Portioning their Pesos to Purchase their Playthings, and Pandering to their Peers in a Pitiful Performance of Piety, Prostrating their Persons in the Presence of Punitive Policemen, Parsimonious Public Penpushers and Pompous Politicians.

 Perhaps we People, the Perpetual Playthings of Pop and Pagan Propagation can Put Paid to Protelitariate Piracy and Primeval Prissy Poncing in Public Places, if we Prohibit Pessimistic Pensiveness and Party on in this Perfect Place of Paradise, Poo-Pooing Pollution and Promoting a Picture of Paralytic Pandemonium, Primeval Pulchritude, and Polygamous Permissiveness.

I am Pleased to Pronounce this P Party a Penultimate, Preposterous, Pornographic, Perilous, Photogenic, Positively Phallic  Piss up!