My friends were at my party on the weekend
they drank the wine and trashed my birthday cake,
then all pissed in my pool down at the deep end,
which turned into a tepid yellow lake.

We smoked a giant cone of marijuana,
I told them that my goldfish Irving died,
we said a prayer that he would find Nirvana,
but half way through the eulogy I cried.

I organized a game of strip jack naked,
then stacked the deck till all the girls were nude,
I cracked the whip but none of them could take it,
it ended when I served the finger food.

The cops arrived and gave us all a drug test,
I bribed the Chief and kept us out of jail,
the feds all stayed, we had a tantric love fest,
the games we played were far beyond the pale.

For music, I had amps and giant speakers,
plus all the greatest hits from Spinal Tap,
but when I played an album by The Seekers
they all declared my music choice as crap.

The morning found a mess – I could have killed them,
but used a hose and flushed it down the drain,
my friends are just a bunch of bloody children,
this Friday night I’ll have them round again!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here