I drank a
pint of mercury, to see what it would do,
turned into silver and my lips went septic blue,
evolved, resembling the talons of a bird,
came in and bawled me out for being so absurd.
machine was put on hold, the future stayed a blank,
I tried to
tell the parish priest, he labeled me a crank,
accept the fact that time is everywhere
me several times then led me tearfully in prayer.
I ran onto
the freeway and a semi ran me down,
sleep-walked from the hospital, in nothing but a gown,
waiting for the council bus my pulse and breathing slowed,
arrest then left me lying on the road.
was very beautiful, I fell in love at once,
my face and told me I was nothing but a dunce,
boyfriend was an orderly, he pushed the beds around,
he pushed my
bed a bit too hard, again I hit the ground.
the traction ward, I looked around and sighed,
had noticed that the potted plants had died,
I caught a
bad infection from a south-east Asian guy,
cut off both my legs, and hung me out to dry.
You see me
at the corner every day, I seek your aid,
account is empty now, from all the bills I paid,
Government has left me flat, my wife’s now mean to me,
that there’s no cure for someone hooked on mercury!
more of my
FUNNY POEMS here