I found a little voodoo doll, in downtown Port au Prince,

it looked like me, and there were pins galore,

I gave it to the local church, had bad luck ever since,

I should have paid the damn witch doctor more!

In Tel Aviv, a black cat crossed my path one Friday night,

a Rabbi told me he was not surprised,

I took it to the synagogue, and had it painted white,

they prayed, and then declared it circumcised.

A bus in Bombay hit me, he had swerved to miss a cow,

a transplant gave me new arms and a leg,

the donor’s name was Krishna, so I’m half a Hindu now,

the prayer mat’s good to sit on while I beg.

The mirror broke in Lhasa, and I felt a deep remorse,

it might well be the fact that I was drunk,

I now do Buddhist doctrine through a correspondence course,

in seven years I’ll be a novice monk!

In Shanghai was the ladder, that I didn’t see at all,

I waddled under, full of Peking duck,

the little shrine I built looks quite aesthetic in the hall,

my Taoistic name is Mee Bad Ruck.

I spilt some salt in Dublin town, while eating fish and chips,

St. Luke’s cathedral seemed a likely place,

the kindly Fathers took me in, and gave me several tips,

I say confession daily, just in case.

The sprinkler system started in a store in Tokyo,

I opened my umbrella – not so good...

I now have thirteen Shinto wives, each one with kids in tow,

they tell me that I’m lucky – knock on wood!

 more of my FUNNY POEMS here