Please be my sweet Valentine

and then my life will be fine

no, don't shake your head

let's just jump into bed,

and finish that bottle of wine!

I've loved you so long from afar

 you're always sat there at the bar

be my Valentine -

we'll go out and dine -

then hump in the back of my car!

I don't want to blow my own trumpet

but I'm not a bad piece of crumpet

for breakfast or tea

you can always eat me

now be mine, and like it or lump it!

I'm sending this Valentine's card,

and trying to rhyme like a bard,

a Shakespeare I'm not -

but I think you're hot -

when I see you I always get hard!

I know that you think I'm a slob,

one day I will find me a job,

and then, Valentine,

I'll get what is mine:

a humungous kiss on your gob!

I know that the classroom's got guys,

more handsome than me and more wise,

but, Valentine dear

whenever you're near

they strip all your clothes with their eyes!

For Valentine's Day, how 'bout this:

I pay you ten bucks for a kiss

but not on your face -

I'll pick out a place

that will show you the meaning of bliss!

My life is a virtual ball

I just peeked out into the hall

my sweet Valentines

queued up in their lines

I hope I can get to them all!

I bought you some candy last year

you said it went straight to your rear

this Valentine's Day

no chocolate tray -

I bought you a six-pack of beer!

my LIMERICKS MAIN PAGE