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  Original funny limericks all about the TV show The Simpson, by Australian poet Graeme King. ©kingpoetry2009.

 
SIMPSONS LIMERICKS by Graeme King

MAIN LIMERICKS INDEX

 

The Mayor finds himself in some strife

he’ll probably pay with his life

he’s pissed off the mob

was caught on the job

hard at it with Fat Tony’s wife!

 

At Moe’s all the men are so bold,

the Duff’s always foamy and cold,

and when Barney burps

then somebody chirps:

“Your belches, my boy, are pure gold!”

 

The bully is called Nelson Muntz

he loves pulling off vicious stunts

feel sorry for him

his future is dim

this year he’s again the school dunce!

 

Young Smithers developed a yen

for wrinkly, senile old men

but old Monty Burns

had many concerns

and turned the poor man down again!

 

When Marge blurted out: “Husband dear,

I think I’m about to turn queer”

she heard Homer’s voice

say: “That is your choice,

now quiet, I’m drinking a beer!”

 

The Lovejoys pray ever so well

last Sunday they rang the church bell

“Let’s all join in prayer

and ask God up there

to send Homer Simpson to Hell!”

 

Poor Homer was feeling quite sick

he needed some medicine quick

he’s now an exhibit

should have seen Doctor Hibbert

instead of that quack Doctor Nick!

 

When Monty Burns fell, full of lead

not one single teardrop was shed

the party began

they hated that man

and everyone hoped he was dead!

 

A rumor has flown round the town

that Quimby’s about to go down

replaced by the mob

and who gets his job?

Caramba! It’s Krusty the Clown!

 

When Seymour took Edna to dinner

he thought that he had a sure winner

the lady just said:

“Sure, I’ll come to bed,

but only if I’m Mrs. Skinner!”

 

When Bart raised his voice in dissention

at Groundskeeper Willie’s intention

the Scotsman said: “Och

this might be a shock”

(the rest of this scene I won’t mention)

 

Apoo had turned green, what a worry!

He yelled out: “I’m in a great hurry,

I must find a loo

and empty Apoo

I shouldn’t have eaten that curry!”

 

The TV set blew with a zap

and Homer just yawned and said: “Crap –

I’ll get off this couch

and won’t be a slouch

but first I shall take me a nap!”

 

A bartender must know his stuff

the one on the show is so rough

he looks like a rat

but no-one sees that

they only know Moe flows the Duff!

 

The Isotopes lost forty-nil

and Homer was feeling quite ill

he told Marge in tears:

“I drank forty beers

and now I can’t settle the bill!”

 

Homer has planers and sanders

and drills, hammers, crow bars and branders

but here is the quiz

is that stuff all his?

Hell no – it’s from Flan-diddley-anders!


 

MAIN LIMERICKS INDEX


 

Original pictures by Graeme King ©Kingpoetry2009  BACK to TOP