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A knight kept ten
girls in a wagon
when asked why he
said "I'm not braggin'
they say I'm the
guy
and I satisfy,
the truth is that I
have one draggin'"
Prince William of
York was quite mad
he chopped off the
head of his Dad
then had it spit
roasted
then
char-grilled-then toasted
then ate it - and
said "Not too bad."
To the church did
the feudal Lord ride
with twelve
swordsman silent beside
he swaggered in,
grinning
and, though it was
sinning
in the front pew he
rogered the bride!
The Sherrif's
collector, called Max
got into the
village girl's dacks
they gave him their
honey
cos they had no
money
and somehow, they
had to pay tax!
I jousted and fell
from my horse
the Princess was
nursemaid, of course
when I fondled her
breast
the clever girl
guessed
that the blood was
just tomato sauce!
The vikings were
ready to flee
They'd plundered,
would now put to sea
While they'd been
invadin'
A young English
maiden
Was smitten, and
cried "Wait for me!"
King Arthur
assembled the court
they ogled at what
he had brought,
back from the
crusades
with marital aids
and two thousand
bottles of port!
The castle ghost
got very bold
the guardsman was
not very old
a rattle of chains
demented his brains
he was frozen - and
it wasn't cold!
The King heard some
musical sounds
a lute player, down
in the grounds
when he hit a wrong
note
the King cleared
his throat
and shouted out
loud "Loose the hounds!"
The head of the old
monastery
had a talkative
yellow canary
the poor little
bird
could not say a
word
had his tongue
pulled for yelling out "Fairy!"
A crofter from
somewhere near York
said "I feel a bit
of a dork,
I tried to get head
from the Laird's
wife who said:
'Chop off the end
of his stalk!'"
A poor farmer went
to the Pope
Said: "I'll be a
saint now, I hope"
The Pontiff asked
why
This was his reply:
"Two weeks ago I
discovered dope!"
The archery contest
was good
but all of the men
understood
there was one way
to win
so they turned with
a grin
and pincushioned
poor Robin Hood!
A witch who was
burned at the stake
a terrible cursing
did make
she looked at the
Priest
made the sign of
the beast
and that night he
drowned in the lake!
Merlin let out a
huge growl
as the umpire's
whistle blew "foul"
he said "Fowl is
it?"
and made a quick
visit
then bashed up the
ref with an owl!
A minstrel was
singing one day
but some of the
words went astray
instead of "low
summer"
he crooned out "yo
mama"
he died of his
wounds yesterday!
An archer was
bonking a wench
in the kitchen one
night, on a bench
and when he was
through
he asked "Good for
you?"
she replied: "Yes,
except for your stench!"
The blacksmith was
plying his trade
he sweated as
hammering made
these chastity
belts
took hundreds of
welts
he got richer with
every crusade!
An outlaw was
really a wreck
he looked at
himself...what the heck...
why worry now?
to the crowd gave a
bow
as they tightened
the noose round his neck!
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