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One night at the
Hollywood Oscars
A fat actor sat
eating toscas
But something went
crunch
He said "What did I
much?"
And pulled out a
beetle's proboscis!
A flea crashed a
big termite party
Got drunk and was
feeling quite hearty
They thought he was
good
Cos he smashed up
their wood
With the help of a
little karate!
Two spiders were
noisily playing
Their mom came and
gave them a flaying
She said "Stop that
riot
You have to be
quiet
A mantis is here,
and he's praying!"
I stopped for a
drink at a bar
She gave me my
beer, I said "Ta,
Is the manager in?"
She replied with a
grin:
"It's that
centipede, there in the jar!"
A stinkbug was
there on my blotter
reading my new
Harry Potter...
my anger it grew
and I said "Bugger
you"
end of story - my
thanks to fly swatter!
Julie the June bug
was sad
she cried for the
life that she had
"I need to know why
I must die in
July...
Can Autumn be
really that bad?"
A moth was intent
on his flight
said "I know I'm
dying tonight
but that will be
great
if I've found me a
mate
that last-minute
sex - dynamite!"
A brothel, a couple
of slabs
then throwing up in
yellow cabs
I thought I was
done
that I'd had my fun
but the star of the
night was the crabs!
Two butterflies
hung round a light
He said: "Wanna?"
she said: "I might,
Some foreplay would
help"
So he massaged her
palp
It turned out a
hell of a night!
An aphid, a
terrible cheater
abused his poor
wife, yes, he'd beat her
but she held her
own
she was getting her
bone
from a tender and
caring mosquita!
A millipede thought
it was neat
To walk up and down
in the street
But after a while
he said with a
smile
"Good fun, but My
God, my poor feet!"
A Mexican cowered
there, foetal
When asked was he
scared, said "A leetle"
And there in the
corner
A murderous horner
Yes - a rhinocerous
beetle!
A fly and a moth
called a pact
together, in bed
they were shacked
I know it's absurd,
they were found by
a bird
the ending? They
sadly were snacked!
A maggot went out
to a dance
a girl blowfly gave
him a chance
she watched as he
wriggled
and then only
giggled
as he made a big
mess in his pants!
A hornet was
starting to cry
and sobbed: "Tell
me please why do I
have a sting in my
tail?
with women I fail
I can't even pick
up a fly!"
A locust was
sitting in school
the teacher thought
he was a fool
he would open his
book
but as soon as he'd
look
at a landscape he'd
hopelessly drool!
A wasp in a
hospital bed
was buggered, and
soon would be dead
he said "I blew my
chance
I attempted to
dance
but stung my own
arsehole instead!"
I sat at a bar and
I got pissed
a mix of vermouth
and scotch mist
and then I awoke
right next to a
bloke
he said: "Hi, I'm a
lepidopterist
There in a rotten
potata
A gay beetle hit on
a slater
he wiggled his
shell
and the slater
said: "Hell...
I'm late for a
date, see you later!"
A lady bug yelled
out in ire:
"I wish I was a
better flier,
my kids have pissed
off
and if that's not
enough
my sweet little
house is on fire!"
A beggar fell down
on his knees
thanked the lady
for giving him cheese
"If I can replay,
I'll do it some
day"
but he'd already
given her fleas!
A wasp said:
"Karate's for chicks
I don't need to
learn any kicks
when I'm in a fight
I'm always all
right
kicks need legs -
and I have six!"
A caterpillar moved
like a sloth
till the day he
turned into a moth
then he zoomed like
a jet
to the cupboard to
get
his teeth into
everyone's cloth!
A Chinese guy got
sick of spice
he didn't think
noodles were nice
he went around
raving
about his new
craving
for candied
grasshoppers on rice!
Millions of ants
marched along
all chanting a
unionist song
"Kill one of our
race
and ten take its
place,
We'll be in your
house before long!"
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