I once bought a huge bag of rice

then thought that it tasted so nice

I bought thirty more

now my biggest chore

is setting the traps for the mice!

Most pizzas have cheese and I've found

that olives and chilies abound

the flavor just rocks

but what of the box?

Why square when the pizza is round?

I tasted Australian stew,

quite hearty and nutritious, too

then I was left cold

when somebody told

me the meat bits were all kangaroo!

I once took a cruise on a ship,

and tried this incredible dip,

ingredients: three

there was L, S and D

now THAT was a hell of a trip!

A restaurant opened last week,

the waiter was from Mozambique,

he served me a dish:

live African fish,

it leaped up and bit my right cheek!

The bride was so picky and petty

she moaned there was too much confetti

and then a huge fight

on the honeymoon night

she said he resembled spaghetti!

Hot dogs at the baseball is great,

it's what happens later I hate:

they use stomach pumps

to remove all the lumps

perhaps I should stop after eight?

I fell in love - for real

and cooked her up a meal,

she tasted - left

I was bereft

what's wrong with chocolate eel?

I wanted to cook Crepe Suzette

so googled it up on the net

a French recipe

was foreign to me

I haven't stopped throwing up yet!

A barbecue just down the street

served tofu and lettuce and beet,

and capsicum leaf

I asked: "Where's the beef?"

"We're vegan - we don't consume meat!"

My sausages really are long

the size of an elephant's dong

I make 'em that way

to hear my wife say:

"Your thinking is wicked and wrong!"

I cooked up some roadkill for tea

a possum and rabbit or three

despite all the grit

my dish was a hit

I now have a show on TV!

I made me a black and white pie

with licorice and crushed butterfly

some warm marzipan

all baked in a flan

a delicacy (if you're Thai).

Limericks main index