I caught a big tuna – the best!

The highlight of my fishing quest,

but oh, what a rort,

we got back to port,

to receive a big “NO” from John West!

I caught a big crab on my line,

they said: “Hold it up,” I said: “Fine”

But then I yelled “Ow!”

And look at me now:

if you count my fingers – there’s nine!

My last fishing trip was a flop,

the rain and the wind wouldn’t stop,

my wife got her wish,

I took home some fish,

(it’s a secret they came from the shop!)

I hooked up a shark – what a beast!

he towed my boat steadily east,

we got near Fiji,

I jumped in the sea,

and that’s when his mates had a feast!

I dug up a worm, it was slimy,

he sat there and yelled at me – blimey!

“You think worms are great –

but there’s other bait,

I’d rather that you didn’t try me!”

I went to the lake to catch bass,

my motor boat ran out of gas,

I rowed it with zest,

got pains in the chest,

and died at the boat ramp – alas!

I bought me a rod and some hooks,

and read all the best fishing books,

but nothing was landed –

came home empty-handed...

I had to eat one of my chooks!

I fished from the jetty till late,

the wind, moon and tide were all great,

although I caught none,

the trip was such fun,

the next time I’ll try it with bait!

I saw a small twitch in my rod,

I smiled, getting ready for cod,

when I had a look

I had a bare hook,

he’d stolen my worm, the big sod!

My fishing club went to the weir,

we took a huge truckload of gear,

four rods that were new,

a sandwich or two,

and three hundred cases of beer!

I felt the fish bite, so I struck,

I landed him quickly – what luck!

I held up my prize,

the fish rolled its eyes

and then it threw up on me – Yuk!

I sat there and fished in the mud,

then I heard the thunder go thud,

the doctor’s report:

“He died for his sport,

a river, a storm – then flash flood!”

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