A pedigree bull had been tutored

but with cows he was not well reputed

he came out one day

and confessed he was gay

so the farmer then ordered him neutered!

The one thing the horses don't like

is farmer Brown's new Honda bike

they got so despondent

from feeling redundant

they voted and went out on strike!

Two roosters were having a fight

over hens, and which one had the right

to serve all the chicks

used both punches and kicks

the layers looked on with delight!

A feller, morose and in jail

was heard in the evening to wail

"I meant no-one harm

just crept to the farm

and smoked me a giant hay-bale!"

A farmer, in town on the booze

threw up on a city guy's shoes

when asked would he fight

he said "Yeah, I might

with pitchforks or tractors? You choose!"

Macdonald was famous, you know

Each year at his farm he would grow

these pumpkins so grouse

one as big as a house,

it ended up champ: "Best in Show"

A real grassy story, not half!

This farmer grew dope for a laugh

But this was the pits

Cows stoned off their tits

He shouldn't have used it as chaff!

A farmer's wife served up a pie

the parson, a gleam in his eye

said: "that tasted funny

sort of creamy and runny"

She said "Yeah, all from the pigsty!"

The bank had already rebuffed

Our loan, my account pretty scuffed

To see the drought through

We grew some dope, too

You don't think it's right? Go get stuffed!

A sweet farmer's daughter, Eliza

goes walking, this feller espies her

now there's no maybe

she's having a baby

the lesson: Avoid fertilizer!

A farm boy from East Alabama

Heard an unusual clamour

The goat run amok

And was driving the truck!

(He taught him the rules with a hammer)

A pig said "I really don't think

that I have an oderous stink

I bathe every day

and all the girls say

My skin is a marvelous pink!"

In a cornfield young Johnny said "Phew,

You know a few tricks that are new!"

His love batted eyes

Murmured soft, loving sighs

And after a while uttered..."Moo!"

Billy was driving his tractor,

Said "Sex isn't really a factor

Whenever I'm lonely

I dress up a pony

Thanks to Mabeline and to Max Factor!"

Young Billy, from East Albuquerque

Was dancin' a storm, very jerky

They then stopped the dance

Asked him "What's in yer pants"

He sheepishly told 'em "A turkey!"

Poor farmer Giles is dead

The service was held prayers all said

He just didn't know

How fast small bulls can grow

Fancy dying his overalls red!

A farmer was harvesting maize

His eyes started slowly to haze

A holey exhaust

Through the cabin it coursed

And he drove in a drug-induced daze!

A farmer was smokin' some skank

Said "I have my Pappy to thank

He left me the deeds

And enough hooter seeds

To laugh all the way to the bank!"

A big cattle rancher from Texas

Said "That Cattle Inspector affects us

Just coz my steers

Are fattened with beers

He condemns 'em all, just to vex us!"

A farm girl let out a huge wail

She was watching a stallion sale

She batted her eyes

As she gasped at the size

Of the horse's - ha! you got it wrong - tail!

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