When Boppo the clown did his thing

they called him the Juggling King

but one night he failed

was charged and then jailed

for dropping his balls in the ring!

Roberto threw knives with great skill

but one night his aim was so ill

he botched several throws

and killed two front rows

he’s now hiding out in Brazil!

The dog trainer’s poodles were tops

they danced with a series of hops

he developed an itch

and called one a bitch

the ringmaster called in the cops!

From up near the roof came a crack

the acrobat fell – broke his back

the ambulance came

said the rope was to blame

it’s supposed to be tightrope – not slack!

The clowns went on strike for more pay

the boss said: “You’ll get it one day”

so nothing was funny

he should have paid money

he’s now parking cars in L.A.

The lions went hungry today

their trainer was taken away

he’d fed the big cats

on stray dogs and rats

and was charged by the S.P.C.A!

The horses have feathers and bells

the trainer cracks whips and he yells

they’re great in the ring

but despite everything

quite frankly, I can’t stand the smells!

I went to the circus last week

but ran out of there with a shriek

I’m still in a daze

in the big mirror maze

I realized I was the freak!

The circus was terribly rude

the acrobats acted quite lewd

they dangled with ease

on the flying trapeze

and did all their tricks in the nude!

The circus chief acted so tough

gave orders and swore pretty rough

but nobody cared

his secret they shared

at night he did bestial stuff!

I pity poor Floppo the clown

they laugh at him all over town

he flipped and he flopped

his braces they popped

and his big floppy trousers fell down!

The flames from the big top flew high

and lit up the dark winter sky

at the matinee show

to the ringmaster’s woe

the fire-eater farted – oh my!

The band leader acted quite weird

he cried out: “It’s just as I feared

the love of my life

my own darling wife

has now grown a fifteen-inch beard!”

The elephant trainer was young

but apparently quite highly-strung

when asked: “Do they smell?”

he replied “Bloody Hell”

and pelted the poor man with dung!

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