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- Why don't hummingbirds learn the words?
- Why isn't yacht spelled yot?
- Are tapeworms now CDworms?
- Why don't they hire taller ballerinas?
- If a picture paints 1000 words, why do we write
books?
- Why is abbreviation such a long word?
- If area 51 really exists - what's in the other
50?
- If you cut an ants nest in half...have you got
two semi-colonies?
- If you flunk arithmetic, can you still count your
blessings?
- If time heals all wounds, why don't they put it
in ointment?
- How do we know dogs can't whistle if we can't
hear them?
- What if the fat lady is the first act?
- Why aren't chillies called hotties?
- If there are no hands...how can it be a digital
watch?
- Why don't tree conservationists hunt beaver?
- If talk is cheap, how come lecturers charge so
much?
- Does a vampire go to a blood bank?
- If you can't tell a book by its cover...why
illustrate it?
- If trees have bark, why don't dogs wood?
- Can a deaf person hear the voice of reason?
- Does a porcupine get pins and needles?
- What would you call a rocking chair with wheels?
- If a saltpan's full of salts, what's a dope ring
full of?
- If you invent an acid that eats everything...what
do you keep it in?
- If a chairman's now a chairperson, what's a
woman?
- How did they know he was Edward the First?
- If skunks stink, do skinks stunk?
- Who invented the patent?
- If a king is crowned, is a fool dunced?
- If spiced ham is spam, is spiced lamb spewe?
- Can you save a pastie to eat in the future?
- If you're not on a diet, are you on a livet?
- If wishes were horses and beggars could ride,
where would they go?
- If popcorn is cooked corn, what are popsicles?
- If spam is spiced ham, what do you call spiced
worm?
- If you cut a nit-wit in half, do you get two
half-wits?
- Do crabs get humans?
- If there's only one winner...why call it a
lottery?
- If two mouses are mice, and two louses are
lice...what are two houses?
- What about the people who LIVE in
Tipperary?
- When dogs chase each other around - is it a
planefight?
- If it's always in the last place you look - why
don't we look there first?
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