As I looked on the wall at the Government office today,

saw a vacancy that that I had never encountered before:

"Gynacologogist's Helper required" - that sounded okay!

So I went to the man at the counter to find out some more.

"Well, the Doc needs a man who can help get the patients undressed,

help 'em off with their panties and shave all the area clean,

once it's done you rub lotion around till they're right for his test,

and preparing them at the last moment with warm vaseline."

"It sounds wonderfully good," I replied with a grin like a cat,

"but there must be a catch, is the pay rather meager and mere?

Sort of two bucks an hour - no dental or something like that?"

He said: "No, it's okay, as it's seventy thousand a year!"

"Well I'm up for it then," I replied as I held out my hands,

"You can see by my manicured fingers that I'm not a slob,

and I'm very experienced playing with girls and their glands,

take the poster down now, as I'll tell you, I'm taking the job!"

"Well, you'll have to go down to Kentucky," he warned with a frown,

"So is that where he practices medicine? That would be fine!

Relocation's okay as I'm sick of this Washington town,"

"No, no, no," he replied, "I'm afraid that's the end of the line!"

more of my FUNNY POEMS here