In caveman days, two friends eked out a living, Ugg and Ogg,

and one day they were sitting near the tar pit on a log,

they'd found a pterodactyl bone, enjoyed a hearty chew,

and saved the rest to take back home to make Jurassic stew.

"It seems," said Ogg, "from what they say, the Earth is growing cold,

the trilobites and dinosaurs are dying out, I'm told,

if we survive this weather crisis and the lack of heat,

I wonder what the hell it is that we're supposed to eat?"

"I think," replied his mate, "that you've been sucked in by a con,

this 'Ice Age' scare is rubbish, pal, it simply isn't on,

my conscience tells me that it's just a temporary freeze,

I won't change my opinion - they can warn me all they please!"

"Ogg pondered on his friend's remark "But what about the ice?

it's stayed around all summer and it isn't very nice,

I understand your viewpoint and I'm sure your logic's sound,

but people now are using sleds and skis to get around!"

"I understand your quandary," said Ugg, "I really do,

for quite a time I helped to spread their propaganda, too,

and then one day I realized it was crackpots telling lies,

a coolish summer doesn't have to mean the food chain dies!"

"Last week," said Ogg, "I found a frozen Raptor in a tree,

volcanoes don't erupt these days, they're ancient history,

the last few years have shown us all some rather strange affairs:

we live near the equator - yet we're prey for polar bears!"

Ugg shook his head: "It's all a lie, a man needs to be brave,

not wrap himself in monkey skins and hide inside his cave,

sure, dinosaurs are dying, but they're simply growing old,

a fool can see that can't be blamed on ice or snow or cold!

"Those Greenies don't know anything, except their doomsday song,

in twenty years they'll hang their heads and say they got it wrong,

don't panic Ogg, you listen, I'm your best friend and I know,

now let's get back inside the cave - I think it's gonna snow!"

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