When a father has a daughter, it's a reason for living

suddenly he feels grown up, it's time to stop and think;

and he looks down at his baby, and wonders of the magic

how this Princess might grow up and drive a man to drink.

It's great when they are youngsters, you can play the horsey

at Christmas time you're Santa and you keep their noses clean;

you go to their school concerts, and buy all of their cookies

you may as well enjoy it man, coz soon she'll be thirteen.

There's these things that they call hormones, and they live there in your daughter,

waiting till the day when they are called to do their thing;

and then they take your Princess, convince her that she hates you

so when she calls you nasty names, just close your ears and sing:

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to scold 'em

know when to pat their head and when to kick their bum;

and when they ask permission to sleep at their good friend's house

don't you answer yes or no, say: go and ask your Mum.

You hope she's heeded warnings, you buy her the best cell phone

you let her on the internet and hope she'll be mature;

and when she won't let you in there, you hope it's coz she's dressing

your daughter wouldn't mess around, you know that fact for sure.

Coz every Father knows, his daughter is an angel

she's pure as driven snow of course, and something like a nun;

but don't go and be an asshole, when she brings home her first boyfriend

you never know the future and he might be your next son.

You got to hope when they're datin' - that they're not mating

hope when they leave for school, that that's just where they go;

coz there's no second guessin, they need to learn their lesson

and they don't need no grown-up Dad to tell them that it's so.

Coz you must love your children, and back 'em through the hard times

yell for joy when they are right, if they're wrong just hold your breath;

don't regret that they're growing, you must know they'll leave you one day

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to scold 'em

know when to pat their head and when to kick their bum;

don't you regret it, when they grow up so quickly,

there'll be lots more kids to play with when the grandchildren come.