I live inside a haunted house, I wouldn’t call it fun,

the monsters, ghouls and spooks are everywhere,

they slam the doors and break the plates and frighten everyone,

it seems that once you’re dead your job’s to scare!

It’s hard to get to sleep because they stomp around all night

destroying vases, breaking window panes,

and if it all goes quiet and you think that it’s all right,

they form a line of ghosts and rattle chains!

The lights turn on and off, and toast will pop at any time,

the phone will ring then fall onto the floor,

the kitchen sink is always full of glowing greenish slime,

nobody does the dishes any more!

The pictures in the hallway hang at angles rather strange,

although they’re straightened every single day,

each night a phantom does its job - to mess and re-arrange,

he doesn’t call it work - to him it’s play!

The bedrooms are an awful mess, the pillow cases sliced,

with feathers falling round like snowy flakes,

nobody makes the bed because the household poltergeist

will muck it up again, when he awakes!

If visitors come round to call, the ghosts will come alive,

they shriek and boo, it’s very impolite,

before too long the guests are running screaming down the drive,

and often, all their hair has turned to white!

I give you all a warning, stay away from ghostly stuff,

and never, ever buy a haunted house,

I’m moving out quite soon, because I’ve really had enough,

it’s bad enough for me - and I’m a mouse!

more of my KIDS POEMS here