I bought the latest cell phone from a store just up the road,

I've never had a mobile phone before,

it has a built-in ring tone that was like a croaking toad,

the guy convinced me that I needed more.

I didn't want that muzak played by Casio buffoons,

I wanted all the latest, greatest bands,

for ten bucks extra every month, I get the newest tunes,

and hold the world of music in my hands.

Of course, since I was getting all the latest from the charts,

I didn't want the standard blue and green,

for ten bucks extra every month, I get a work of art,

to use as my wallpaper for the screen.

I'll need to SMS, and I am in the future now,

the days of single-fingering is past,

for ten bucks extra every month, their course will teach me how,

I'll soon be texting everybody, fast!

Because I have a car, I need some safety on the road,

too many cars and trailers, bikes and trucks,

for ten bucks extra every month, they give me wireless mode,

(plus installation fee - three hundred bucks.)

I check my emails daily, so I need the internet,

the salesman said I needed extra ram,

for ten bucks extra every month, the finest I can get,

it only bills me half-price for the spam!

I couldn't take the risk that I would drop my phone someplace,

those concrete paths will smash a phone for sure,

for ten bucks extra every month, I get a special case,

so I can go outside and feel secure.

I'd always loved Nintendo, always played the latest game,

my new phone can connect into the grid,

for ten bucks extra every month, I'm in the Hall of Fame,

just underneath a seven-year old kid!

It has a built-in camera but the pixel rate was poor,

the salesman had a deal to do the trick,

for ten bucks extra every month, a flash card gives me more,

and some day soon I'll learn to take a pic!

Technology is wonderful, my phone can do it all,

they must be really clever in Taiwan,

and one day soon I promise that I'll give your phone a call,

as soon as I can turn this darned thing on!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here