One day, out in the western woods, a bear

was doing what he always loved to do,

he'd spent the morning tracking down a hare,

and things were looking good for rabbit stew!

He galloped like a pony down the trail,

the distance in between them getting less,

from up ahead he heard a tearful wail -

he smiled and sniffed the sweet smell of success!

It didn't take him long to find the hare,

he'd fallen over something on the track,

the bear said: "Well, well, well, what have we there?

that might be mine - you'd better give it back!"

The hare was clutching something in his paws,

a bottle covered with some kind of hide,

the bear sat down and grabbed it with his claws

"A bottle, eh? Well, let's see what's inside!"

He pulled the cork, a giant puff of smoke

came from the bottle with a whooshing sound,

it turned into a genie, and he spoke:

"At last that bloody bottle has been found!

"I've spent a thousand years in there, you know,

I'm grateful that you two have set me free,

to show my gratitude, before I go,

I'll grant to each of you the Wishes Three!"

"I wish," declared the bear, "that in these woods

each bear would be a female, now, today,

and only me would have the manly goods,

I'll have a brand-new girlfriend every day!"

"It's done!" the genie cried, "they're now all girls!"

And then he asked the hare: "The same for you -

Or would you like some rubies, gold or pearls?

But don't forget you have another two!"

 The hare looked lost in thought and then he said:

"I reckon I can safely answer that -

I'd like some good protection for my head:

a shiny brand-new motorcycle hat!"

The bear laughed at the helmet straight away,

he said: "I have a great idea - and how!

Make every bear across the USA

a female - that should keep me busy now!"

"Tis done!" The genie turned back to the hare,

"And what's the second wish that you would like?"

The hare said: "Something that goes any where,

I want a fuelled-up, brand-new motorbike!"

A puff of smoke, and there a Honda stood,

all shiny red, electric start, the best!

The hare jumped on and nodded: "This is good!"

The bear said: "What the hell, I'll take the rest!

"My third wish," said the bear, "the planet, too!

Across the world all bears will turn to 'She'

My God, can you imagine how they'll queue

to have their turn with handsome, rugged ME?"

The genie waved his hand and cried "It's done!

In every land no male bears - how absurd!

In all the world you are the only one!"

He turned back to the hare, "Please wish your third!"

The Honda roared to life so easily,

the hare said to the genie: "Make my day!"

Of course," the genie answered, "What'll it be?"

"I wish that he is now forever gay!"

more of my FUNNY POEMS here