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  Grandma, an irreverent funny poem by Australian poet Graeme King. ©kingpoetry2008.

GRANDMA by Graeme King
You can download this flash spoken poem. Right-click HERE and choose SAVE AS. Open with Internet Explorer.


I scared the pants off Grandma when I crept up on her chair

while she was dozing in the morning light,

by screaming in her ear I caused the loss of all her hair,

and put her in a frozen trance of fright.


She sits there now and never speaks, just stares straight at the wall,

at times a silly grin comes on her face,

I feel a little guilty so don’t talk to her at all,

and nowadays I tiptoe round the place.


My Mother says because I caused the state that she’s now in

I ought to help to tend her daily needs,

I’ve never been a boy scout and I don’t wish to begin,

I have a funny thing against good deeds.


The oldies are deserving of our time to help them through,

my Dad says they’ve already paid their dues,

that’s fine to say, but I have lots of other stuff to do,

I’m growing old myself, no time to lose.


Don’t think that I’m ungrateful, I thank Grandma every day,

and every night make sure she takes her pill,

and Grandma will remember all my kindness and repay,

tomorrow I am editing her will!

             more of my FUNNY POEMS here

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Original pictures by Graeme King ©Kingpoetry2008  BACK to TOP