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  A cheeky Roman sex poem by Australian poet Graeme King - the decadent gossip of the Romans in a funny poem. ©kingpoetry2008.
 

GOSSIPUS MAXIMUS

Rotundus turned to Flatulus and farted -

he giggled then remarked: "So have you heard?

Bicepulus and Blondii have just parted,

she caught him with some Salonican bird!"

 

His friend said "Hah!" and fiddled with the sauna,

"He's always liked to hang out with the dregs,

I heard the rumors he was fond of fauna -

or anything that opens up its legs!"

 

"And Blondii" said the first, "she's like a Tigress,

she scratches and makes quite a growling sound,

her scars are known from here to past the Nigris,

a smile would cause her pants to hit the ground."

 

"That woman makes me proud to be a Roman,"

said Decadus, "she went off to the war

and slept with fifty-seven of our bowmen,

and then asked Anthony to find her more!"

 

Incestus peeled a grape and said "I've had her,

'twas last year after Bachus' Carnal fest,

in Delphi, in a barn, against a ladder -

she whispered afterwards I was the best!"

 

The men guffawed - as if one man could please her...

and Snidus said: "She'd tell you that, of course,

she whispered something similar to Caesar,

and said those very words to Caesar's horse!"

 

Rotundus poured a wine and put his feet up,

"Pray, tell us more, and Gossipus, you're next -

bring in some serving girls to turn the heat up,

there's nothing like an afternoon of sex!"

 

more of my FUNNY POEMS here 

 

Original pictures by Graeme King ©Kingpoetry2008  BACK to TOP

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