At ten, it’s dolls and teddy bears for Daddy’s little girl,

piano lessons, school and tic-tac-toe,

it’s sleepy whispered nights with friends, a childish social whirl,

and wondering if your tits will ever grow.

At fifteen, pimples make you wish you’d not been born at all,

it’s film star crushes, Johnny’s friendship ring,

a tantrum in the bedroom when that boy refused to call,

and Mum who says they only want one thing.

At twenty, life gets serious, as does the guy next door,

a wedding night, a honeymoon sublime,

a baby boy, and then you’re having twins at twenty-four,

you wonder how you’ll ever find the time.

At twenty-five, you feel like life has simply passed you by,

it’s babies all the day and every night,

but sometimes he comes home from work and looks you in the eye,

and for a little while, the world seems right.

At thirty, drive them here and there, and drive their friends of course,

cab driver, cook and cleaner, that’s your stead,

a mirror shows your bum looks like the back end of a horse,

no wonder he ignores you now in bed.

At thirty-five, they’re busy now, and need to be alone,

you clean the house and watch the daytime shows,

no mail again today, and no-one calls you on the phone,

nobody cares, and no-one even knows.

Today, it doesn’t matter, been there – done that – bought the shirt,

you played the game and did it for the team,

you’ve waded through the main course, now it’s time to have dessert,

the chocolate cake, with champagne-flavored cream!

Today, the sun will shine anew, enjoy yourself and rage,

your life begins at forty – that’s today,

so open up your arms and grab a hold of “middle age”

you’ve done the work - now get out there and play!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here