I walked into the library, to find a certain book,

the old cow at the counter gave me such a dirty look,

she glanced around the crowded room and yelled out: "Quiet, Please!

That man who just came in owes us a thousand bucks in fees!"

Back home the mail arrived and it was all concerning debt,

they used big words like "bankruptcy" but, hey, I didn't sweat,

I'll pay them some next week perhaps, it isn't very hard,

another week - a different bank - another credit card!

The repo men turned up and took my TV set away,

explaining "interest-free" don't mean you never have to pay,

politely, I apologized, I didn't cry or moan,

I  found a lovely plasma one, and ordered it by phone!

The server cut my internet, I said okay, that's fine,

you know how many servers out there, begging me to sign?

I'll leave it for a month or so, no need to get it quick,

those ebay emails wanting payment really make me sick!

My car is rather dirty, and it has a little squeak,

no matter, they are telling me they'll take it back next week,

I'll buy the latest model, get some highway driving peace,

at least until I can't keep up the payments on the lease!

My liquor store was rude last week, I went to buy a slab,

he said I held the record for the biggest ever tab,

I rang the supermarket, asked for home delivery,

they said okay, no problem, but it's strictly C.O.D!

Don't talk about frugality, coz I don't want to know,

these profit-making companies all want to lend me dough,

I love this non-stop spending, for my blood pressure it's great -

I never pay, so never care about the interest rate!

More of my FUNNY POEMS HERE

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