A cowboy walked into a bar and
slumped upon a stool,
he threw a large tequila down and
said: "I've been a fool!
Eliza Jane had promised me that I
would be the one -
and now I find she's walking out
with Jake the banker's son!"
A gambler drinking whisky heard
his story and was moved,
he said: "I've loved a lot of
girls, and this one thing I've proved:
They promise you a life of joy,
of love and laughs and song,
then leave - the very instant
someone better comes along!"
The guy at the piano said: "I
loved this girl in Maine,
she had a smile and figure that
would drive a man insane,
I asked the question, she said
yes, but never said 'I do'
she left me for a guy who played
guitar and fiddle, too!"
"My sweet Marie," the barman
said, "so pretty, young and clean,
we planned to make our future
somewhere west of Abilene,
I went off on a cattle drive and
left her all our dough,
she ran off with some outlaw -
they're still down in Mexico."
The Sheriff moseyed over, "Love
ain't all it's said to be,
I fell in love when I was young
and just a deputy,
I sold my horse to buy her stuff,
to dress her up in furs,
but then she wed some other guy
'cause he had bigger spurs!"
The cowboy bought them all a
drink - they toasted single life,
the guy at the piano sang about a
a few drinks more and every man
inside the bar was mad,
and cursing every girl on Earth
for treating them so bad.
The bar doors slowly opened and a
pretty girl stepped in,
she batted huge black lashes and
flashed all the men a grin:
"Well, hello, boys, I'm Rita-Mae,
and I've just moved to town,"
a dozen six-guns fired at once,
and cut the woman down.
It seems she hadn't noticed that
no females were around,
they all live out on Garter Hill,
and six feet under ground,
oh yes, the West was wild, and
quite dangerous back then,
she never should have came to
Stag - the town of jilted men.
more of my
FUNNY POEMS here