Your lawyer asks for a cash payment.

When you say “Not Guilty” the Judge breaks down in tears of laughter.

The big butch bailiff starts winking suggestively at you.

The jury send their meal menus back saying “no need”

The prosecutor apologizes to the Judge for beating him at golf last week.

Your lawyer walks in with a beanie on.

The Judge starts his sentencing with “In all my born days...”

Your lawyer tries to tell you that the electric chair IS a good deal.

The D.A. starts his summary: “Uncle Ern, Aunt Hilda, Cousin Ira...”

A bunch of undertakers are in the first row of the gallery.

The prosecutor asks for the death penalty – on a car theft charge.

Your wife is necking with the Judge’s son in the back of the room.

You plead the fifth – and your lawyer drinks one.

The judge shows the jury his home movies while your key witness is testifying.

When you put your right hand on the Bible it burns you.

The Judge flips a coin to see if you’ll swing or not.