I jumped and grabbed the rings and swung around,

was half-way through my flying crucifix,

one finger slipped - I crashed into the ground,

the judges laughed and scored me two point six.

My scissors blunt, my spindles too much air,

the pommel horse was not my cup of tea,

I hit the deck while half-way through my flare,

the judges laughed and gave me two point three.

The high bar should have been my main event,

my triple salto flyaway was great,

I missed the bar, and sadly, down I went,

the judges laughed and scored me two point eight.

I’d vaulted like a legend back at school,

a triple twist with tuck right through the dive,

the springboard broke – I stood there like a fool,

the judges laughed and scored me naught point five.

The bars were rough, and not that parallel,

the splinters stood out like a porcupine,

my hands were ripped to shreds and down I fell,

the judges laughed and scored me one point nine.

I cart wheeled like the world’s best acrobat ,

then somersaulted in the air and spun,

I really should have landed on the mat,

the judges laughed and scored me two point one.

Amazingly, I won the gold that day,

the other gymnasts called it robbery,

well, I received some lowly scores, but hey!

the rest of them were even worse than me!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here