Is that a real knife? Is he just fooling me?

Caught in a hold-up, late night at KFC

I need to pee, the bandit asks me my name

"I'm just a Kiwi, I'm on the dole you see

I'm easy come, easy go, like I was in Waikato

I apologize bro, I've spent all my dough, sorry"

Bummer - I pee myself

feel it running down my pants in a warming river dance

bummer - he's just stabbed my hand

and I wish I'd left my wallet safe at home

Bummer, Ooooh, I see blood I recognize

he laughs and hits me with a bag of fries

and I hate cold french fries, (and their salad platter.)

Oh God, that's my wallet in his hand

then I see the mongrel grin, as he notices my pin

Oh dear, now I'm in the poo

Coz the bank had told me not to write it down

Oh God, ooooh, I don't know what I can do

he'll have my bank account wiped out tomorrow

it's a gyp, what a rip

I see a policeman coming through the door

"No-one move, no-one move, I have heard the alarm go"

The thief kills the lighting I hear lots of fighting, Eeee

Punching bashing, windows smashing, bodies crashing, where'd he go?

"Easy come, easy go," says the bloody cop (

You bludger, you let the mongrel go, with all my dough

you let the mongrel go, and he said cheerio, you let him goooo

You know your job is to stop people who rob from me

from me from meee

So insurance won't pay and the money I owe

What a night when that mongrel ripped off all my dough

Oooh bugger, you never think you'll meet a mugger

Don't write your pin - or put it in with your card

Nothing really matters, it turned out you see,

On Saturday my son, last Saturday, on Saturday I won the lottery

(that's the way the wind blows).

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