So, when I saw that white ants were a 'feasting on my house,

I came up with a very cunning scheme,

to hybridize an armadillo with a common mouse,

I'd win a Nobel prize for such a dream!

This cunning cross could get inside the walls and have a feast,

he'd eat those ants with inbred instinct's ease;

and when the termites' chomping on my timber frame had ceased,

I'd keep him for a pet and feed him cheese!

I bought a cute anteater and a mouse that seemed to grin,

the pet shop owner raised his eyebrows high;

a kitten cage I purchased, took them home and put them in,

then waited for the pheromones to fly.

Alas, the ardor I'd predicted turned out rather cool,

the mouse just sat there rigid - like in trance;

so then I figured out that I'd been acting like a fool

the main thing armadillos love is ANTS!

I bought a jar of honey and the mouse I thickly spread,

then ran out to the yard and found a sack

that soon was full of ants from my old veggie garden bed,

I tipped them on the sticky mouse's back.

The armadillo went berserk! His tongue cracked like a whip,

and flailed the mouse's fur with hunger's might;

to him it must have tasted like an ant and honey dip,

the poor old mouse collapsed and died of fright!

So now I have an armadillo living here with me,

destruction of my home is near complete...

he won't go near the termites, they're all bitter, don't you see?

He'll only eat ants now if they are sweet!

more of my FUNNY POEMS