An elephant lives in my kitchen,

that sounds pretty silly, I know,

But when I am baking he'll pitch in,

he's expert at kneading a dough.

A walrus took over my garage,

I dare not go in for a tool,

afraid that he may propose marriage

and keep me locked up in the pool.

My bedroom is full of mosquitoes,

they've no inclination to bite,

I keep them well-fed on burritos

so we all sleep soundly at night.

My laundry is done by a donkey

who always smells strongly of drink,

he sings funny tunes in the wrong key

while washing my pants in the sink.

My closet is full up with llamas,

they seem to be awfully rude,

each evening they wear my pyjamas,

and I have to sleep in the nude!

The stairway's patrolled by a viper,

he's yellow and purple and brown,

I sometimes suspect that he's hyper

not once has he ever slowed down.

My microwave oven is useless,

a wombat now calls it his hole,

he's old and quite wrinkled and useless

so I feed him worms the poor soul.

Each morning I peel a banana

and take it upstairs to the bath,

to give to a hungry piranha

who likes me to cut it in half.

I thought of a plan full of merit,

to rid my computer of mice,

I brought home a house-broken ferret

whose owner had told me was nice.

I no sooner walked in the foyer

than he gave a ferret-sized yell,

and threatened to contact his lawyer,

said he couldn't work with the smell.

Drop in anytime, come and visit,

the yak will say: How do you do?

don't talk to the frilly-necked lizard,

he still thinks he lives at the zoo!