The Queen’s so filthy rich – yet has no power,

it seems we have to pay for all her stuff,

why can’t she sell some trinkets from the Tower?

I guess she doesn’t know that times are tough.

The Duke waves to the crowd and blows them kisses,

it’s rather funny though, now here’s the thing:

Elizabeth’s the Queen, and she’s his missus –

so why the hell ain’t he the bleeding King?

Prince Charlie’s next to rule, right after Mummy,

I wondered that there hasn’t been a coup:

the reason why he hasn’t spat the dummy?

He had his Princess and his mistress too!

The Princes turned out cool, so cute and funny,

such modern, well-bred, hot blue-blooded boys,

it must be great when Daddy has the money,

to buy the Navy for your Christmas toys!

There’s lines of aunts and cousins, all succeeding,

they host the palace parties, serve the tea,

the end result of upper-crust inbreeding,

the secret meaning of the royal “we.”

Then, every time we get a royal wedding,

it’s beamed around the world in overkill,

we laugh and sing, but there’s one thing we’re dreading,

cause we’re the bums who foot the bloody bill!

Don’t get me wrong, I bear the Queen no malice,

but these days it’s a bit beyond a joke,

she lives there in her public-funded palace,

ignoring all her subjects going broke!

Just think of all the benefits and spoils,

the diamond-studded scepters, all that gold,

we won’t need crowns if we ain’t got no royals,

and we can split the profits when they’re sold!

more of my FUNNY POEMS here