Authorities arrested all the actors

Behind the back of Birdie's Bar before,

Collecting caustic comments, called "Commandos"

Detectives drilled the decoy at the door.

Entrapment eked the egotistic ethos

Forever for the fuss that few forgot,

"Good grief, God-given gumption!" gasped a gaffer,

He hadn't heard the hero hunk was hot.

Intending intervention in the in-crowd,

Judge Judy jumped a joker, jagged a Jack,

Kapow! A king-sized karma kid karated

Lampooning luck that learned ladies lack.

Majestic Mister Mountie muttered madly:

"Narcotics, nasty note, but needles: none."

Official occupation: old observer,

Perusing perverse patterns (pardon pun).

Quixotic questions quivering quotations,

Redundant racist rednecks rant and rail,

Sensation's sacred scandal's still a secret,

To tell tomorrow, time to test the tale.

Unheard of ulcered ugliness unfolding,

Vivacious vampire vixens vaguely vex,

With wardens waiting, why? A willing witness -

X-rayed and xeroxed with an XXX.

Yes, yelling, youthful, youngish yokels yellowed

Zymotic zombies zoomed to zone - and zeroed!