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  Martial Arts Funny limericks by Graeme King - funny original limericks on kung fu and all things martial art. ©kingpoetry2007.
 

MARTIAL ARTS LIMERICKS

My funny limericks with a kung-fu martial arts flavor.

In China, I went to a shop
and spoke to the man there: Sing Hop
I said "Gimme food"
He replied "You are rude"
And he served me a karate chop!

 

A bully, a beast of a man,
beat me up lots, then I had a plan
to make some amend
I got help from my friend
Bruce Lee and my mate Jackie Chan!

 

The Samurai fascinate me

killing the Ninja with glee

when they get in a fix

well, one of their tricks

is to jump backwards up to a tree!

 

When drunk I become quite a smarty

a hero, the life of the party

there is always a pest

who thinks they know best

so I shut them up using karate.

 

I'm not very tough, got no power
I cry with the sting of the shower
now I'm not for skiting
whenever I'm fighting
my wife is a gun Tai Kwon Doer!

 

There by a river did linger

a small Buddhist Monk choir singer

a soprano came by

tried to sing really high

the Monk simply gave him the finger.

 

My family, boys and their wives

have embraced martial arts all their lives

they will bow to each other

before sister fights brother

and they cut up their food with star knives!

 

A Zen Buddhist uses his mind

to move things on earth, you will find

if you try to ambush him

you won't get to push him

You'll find that you're on your behind!

 

The karate school's quite all right, Jack

you hear all that timber go crack!

in Winter, no worries,

whenever snow flurries

for firewood they never lack!

 

 I grabbed a Chinese by the hair

his small sister said "Don't you dare!"

the rest is quite gory

should you want the story

Emergency Ward - find me there!

 

I sat eating Chinese roast pork

and stood on his chair, like a stork

was some kung fuey guy

and I said with a sigh

"Why don't you sit down, ya big dork!"

 

I bowed, my opponent did too,

so low he could nibble his shoe

no waiting for me

and I kicked him with glee

oh please, ask yourself: wouldn't you?

 

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Original pictures by Graeme King ©Kingpoetry2007  BACK to TOP

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